Selecting donor sperm vs donor egg are two very different processes
Thank you for joining me on this episode on what criteria did I have when selecting my sperm and egg donors. The criteria and volume of choice is much greater with sperm selection compared to egg selection. With the sperm donor, you can choose from any sperm bank. It is better to stay within your country; avoids having to contend with border issues. Donor sperm are frozen sperm in vials that can be transported across the country. There are no time restraints or geographical barriers. There are thousands of sperm donors to choose from. However, with the egg donor you are much more limited as the female donor must be in your area or you would need to commute to where she is. With eggs, you must get in sync with your donors cycle and the embryo transfer happens at the same location as the retrieval; only days later. I was limited to choosing amongst six egg donors. Not only was the selection of the sperm donor so vast, but the criteria available was also much greater than the information of the egg donors.
For sperm there are about twelve different sperm banks I could choose from.
Within that bank are hundreds if not thousands of donors to choose from. There is a search engine that allows you to pinpoint your requests which include criteria such as; donors with identification or anonymous, ones that have or are working on graduate degrees, height, hair colour, eye colour, nationality and blood type. One can reduce your search even further to include religion, astrological signs, favourite pets and subjects, hobbies and personality traits. I don’t think I had the option but you can choose a donor willing to share identification information at age 18 or older. There is even a face match search where you can upload a picture and they find donors that are close to resembling that picture. Once you set your results and click “search” all your matches will appear. If you click a specific donor you can get descriptions on their degrees, occupation and whether they have impregnated before. You are also able to download; a summary profile, an essay he wrote, an audio of an interview, a medical report, an audio of staff impressions and staff impressions written comments. All this criteria is available free of charge. Furthermore, you can purchase child hood photos, a silhouette, full audio report with donor or a Keirsey donor test report. You can get a blanket package which is close to $300 to view unlimited donors reports or you can pay per donor per criteria. This process of finding the biological father of your children can take little or a great deal of time, that depends on you and how long it would take to find the one. I don’t remember how long it took me but I remember emailing my friends and family on my final selections and received their input. Ultimately, this will be your decision. Once the donor met my biological criteria, I placed weight on the staff impressions.
When I heard his audio, it confirmed my decision.
With the female donor, I was given a one page report on six different donors. This report included information on the donors; ethnicity, occupation, education and GPA, marital status, whether they were successful donors in the past, blood type, carrier of any major diseases, age, height, eye colour, weight, skin tone (light, medium, dark), stature (small, medium, large), a short self-description, list of interests and a brief description her parents, siblings and grand-parents. Having only a small list of female donors to choose from made the choice much quicker as I only seriously considered two out of the six right away. I asked for feedback from some friends and family and then made my decision of who would be the biological mother of my children. When I finally chose the donor I had to notify the clinic and they had to contact the donor to make sure she was still available to do the procedure. The donor must also be available to do the process at the same time that I wanted to do it. She would have to take medications with pills, patches and self-injections similar to someone who was preparing their bodies for in vitro fertilization. We both had to be in sync with our menstrual cycles and we both took the medications at the same time.
I remember the clinic said that I could write something to the donor.
I wrote her a card thanking her for the wonderful gift of allowing me to conceive. I bought her a necklace; it was a heart with a pearl inside. I remember writing a very long thank you while crying uncontrollably as I knew this woman was going to be the biological mother of my children. How do you say thank you to somebody in words on a card for such precious gifts.
Once my donors were selected, I was ready for my in vitro procedure.
I hope you enjoyed this episode on “what criteria did you have when selecting sperm and egg donors?” If you have any questions, please go to my website at choicemomma.com and click on “ask me.”
Thank you for listening, please join me on the next episode on “tell us about your in vitro experiences.”